So you want a Messiah?; And friendship.
What? A Messiah-in-a-box made of Leggos™?
What does Momaimandes write?
To be reviewed at a later date.
What principles guided movement away from traditional Orthodoxy?
The law matters.
Laws get broken, repent.
Ask for redemption sincerely and honestly, or it’s not accepted.
Pray like you really mean it, and with intention. “I intend to communicate to the God of Evretim the prayers’ words, said sincerely, not feigned.”
The laws bind generation to generation, but there’s more. [Tanach quote of Father God’s communication that ritual is not enough.] That presence has to be in the meditations or prayers, not absent, and that God bridges the gap between Himself and yourself with steadfast love and without naïveté.
This does not mean, “do all that is wrong,” or “I do, sometimes earnestly, everything evil.” Do not worship evil.
If you do wrong, make right. How? Include in your self-investigation the argument that what is right means doing wrong! And what is wrong, is lead to believe to be right. Remove Satan from God’s courtroom and be the devil’s opponent. Ask is this good? Is it good only for me? Do I have a situation where doing for others is frowned upon By Those You Wish To Do Good?
Then, choose correctness. Do bad that is good. And do not do good that is bad!
You are exerting too much energy to be nice to deamons. They’re sadistic, sarcastic, sardonic, cruel.
There is another person (and this is ethical law!), who is hurt, or sometimes horribly so, by the cruelty of others. Focus on the matter that makes the persecutors sardonic, and remove the ethical person physically from the immediate presence (even more so sometimes) of the tormentors, the ridiculers.
Tell them you saw how they acted to him or her, and that you want to better understand the ammo they used on him or her, so that you can use your supply of ammo, opposite to their use of it.
If you are ready, and this truly, may be the time–tell the person you’d like to get to know them a little better, and that perhaps, over time, we can know each other well enough. And like what’s likeable; and what is not likeable in us, find whether that person is willing to work on themselves, as you work on yourself, interested in improving ourselves so that when you two get together, it becomes more enjoyable (whether you are willing to work on yourself to present a more likeable you, together).
Then focus on details (sometimes small, sometimes large) of maintaining the relationship. Read something on relationships, don’t put too much energy into too many items, but do put energy, sometimes a lot of energy where it matters most. Communicate with your friend, “where is the relationship hurting most? Is this where you want me to focus first?” Consider other hurting areas of the relationship! Be sure it’s reciprocated!
Good luck! Happy Holidays!